I feel like I’m floating on a broken island deep in outer space. I feel like this pit of darkness is my throne, and no one is here to sit with me. If I’m going to say it, I want to say it without expressions or illusions. I’m sad. I’m abandoned, and there’s people that care about me, but so many people are gone. The pain fades and reemerges, and I wish I didn’t have to take medicine to numb it but it’s pain. Sharp stabs in the stomach, and a cord wrapped around my neck, I can’t breath. Tears won’t fall because there’s no more. It’s all inside, and no one can see it. I can’t see it. Not even a mirror can because I smile back at my reflection, saying everything will be ok. And it will. But at what cost. What am I without people. Do I push them away, or do they push others away because they can’t handle pain. I have these memories, remnants, that float around my broken space island, and I love these memories so much that I smile, and that smile makes me cry, something I can’t do any longer without these memories. I just want to cry. I need these memories to stay, I can’t push them away or else I have no escape.
Jesus, I sound like an emo. This blog is meant to inspire, not spread pain. But I’m happy I wrote that, I was able to cry.
Either way, I don’t know why I feel like this sometimes. So many things, good things, are happening. My life is great, I love my life. I guess Bipolar does make sense, but it’s almost exhausting going back and forth from black to white. I’ll be fine later probably.
Bit of inspiration- Do the that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Deep down, no matter what anyone tells you, you need to do it. If you want to be a hero, be one. I don’t know what I need to do, but I feel it deep down. There’s something there, and I have to do it.
Note– The drawing had a bit of reference work from a picture on google, with most of it being my own creative liberties. The reference I got was just for the pose, but I can’t find the picture on google anymore. Just wanted to note this.